For this blog post, I chose to listen to/view the stories “An Honest Life” (linked here) by Jeffery and Tony Perri, and “Her Aunt Saw Her for Who She Truly Was” (linked here) by Dee Westenhauser and Martha Gonzalez. Both are around three minutes long, with the former being presented in an animated video format, and the latter as an audio-only recording. The two cover similar topics on sexuality and gender identity, though in different contexts. Interestingly though, both initial stories take place in the 1950s, so there is likely some societal and cultural overlap between the two despite geographical differences.
Jeffery and Tony’s story starts with Tony himself describing his experience with realizing he was gay and his coming to terms with this “discovery.” He says he first told a confession to his priest when he was 17, saying he was “different” because he knew he liked men instead of women. Years later he realizes he is in a loveless marriage as a result of suppressing his true self, and they decide to end the marriage, seemingly on good and understanding terms. He says from then on he chose to live an honest life that is true to himself at his core and recounts telling Jeffery, Tony’s grandson, about him being gay for the first time and feeling proud of that moment. Jeffery in turn tells Tony about his experience coming out, and being hesitant to tell him knowing as a result of his life experience with being gay, that Tony would in turn be afraid of what Jeffery’s life would be like. The video ends with the two expressing how grateful they are to each other for being able to express and relate their experiences openly.
The recording of Dee and Martha’s story in contrast begins with a narrator giving a brief backstory and setting for their story. Dee then talks about how she remembered her aunt (Yaya) allowed her to dress how she wanted to, and realized the moment when she put on a dress for the first time, that she “was a girl.” Her aunt would buy her the clothes she wanted, but told her to “be who ‘they’ (Dee’s parents) wanted her to be.” Dee also recounts that Yaya had a lifelong best friend, who she only realized much later was her lover and romantic partner. She says that though Yaya never got the love she deserved from most of her family, she loved her for allowing her to express herself freely and without judgment.
These two stories really stood out for me, since two of my roommates are gay/nonbinary and bisexual (respectively), and several of my friends that I have made throughout my time at State also identify within the LGBT+ community. Though stories like these are often shaped by a background of negative societal norms and perceptions on the topics of gender and sexuality, I’m glad people as a whole are becoming more accepting, and in turn, that more uplifting and inspiring stories like these are being told for future generations to look back on, hopefully reassuring them that no matter who they are and what their identity is, they are always welcome somewhere.
A Community Audio Journal